Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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