you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
