Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
