I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
