Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
