I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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