i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
