I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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