What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
