pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
