Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
