so explain again why im purple
no
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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