apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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