Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
