she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
