That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
