I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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