I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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