I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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