Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you guys were way drunker than both of me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
