there was a trapeze. enough said
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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