I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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