Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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