I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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