Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
