Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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