nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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