She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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