I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize