Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize