I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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