if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
