the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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