i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
