Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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