I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
