Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We don't watch enough power rangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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