i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
