If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize