Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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