Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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