I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
