She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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