I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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