my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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