New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
