I am in a vortex of obligation.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
