I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
