remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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