1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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