My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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