he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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