she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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