haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
