You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
