I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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