tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
