I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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