You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
