I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
